You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Someone shit on the floor
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize