Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
