im six kinds of drunk right now
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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