I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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