can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
