Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
