sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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