perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
wow bdsm is so cute
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
