Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
