I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
