i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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