I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
