You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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