i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This is classic penis vs brain.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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