I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
