i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
