I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Randomize
