; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
