why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
