i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize