its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
