felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Pooping to opera.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
