i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
