he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
