i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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