Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
