Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
