hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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