As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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