I'm jealous of your bromance
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
