My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
