Someone shit on the floor
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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