How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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