No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
