just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
