I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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