She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
