Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
