Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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