you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
