i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
