I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
