Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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