Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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