i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
