also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
