He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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