Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
