billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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