So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
