Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
