margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
